this afternoon i was sitting at my desk dropping into a pit of sadness. i sat up, took a deep breath, and shook myself. why am i so sad? i thought to myself. then the beethoven swelled again and i realized the sadness had an external source, after all. my parents gave me that cd in college and i used to play the same movement over and over again in my dorm room, indulging in dark thoughts. my moods these days are more temperate. a relief.
j sent me a mix and i put it on in the kitchen while i prepared the week's bread on sunday, making up moresque dances as the dough rose. it was a beautiful sunny day and the house was empty all afternoon. i took the tassajara bread book's advice to "wind up" the dough before putting it in the pan and wouldn't you know, it finally rose to a respectable height when i baked it. the boys who showed up to play video games divested me of slices. i consider it a success!