the whole room looks different now that i've discarded my box of papers to be filed. the papers to be filed are now jammed haphazardly into their respective file folders and the envelopes in which they arrived are in a trash bag on the landing. i fed the rest into the shredder. now i need more file folders.
the snake is satiated, temporarily, and no longer noses at the glass.
tomorrow i go back to work and into my daily disasters.
the rain on my days off was endlessly satisfying. tuesday morning when we were almost fighting i curled up on the bed and watched the rain drip off the grapevines and the sour green bunches of grapes and the leaves of the apricot tree that the grapevines are attempting to choke. he came into the room with a handrolled cigarette and shared it with me and we watched the rain, blowing smoke out through the screen.
all the struggling and fussing that i do, all i want are moments like that, when i'm sleepy and scared and a little angry, but if i stop to look out the window i can see that the rain is beautiful on the leaves and i can hear this harmonious dripping sound everywhere and someone that i don't really want to fight with who doesn't really want to fight with me will come and share a cigarette and enjoy the view before we have coffee and eggs.
can't it always be raining?
can't i forever be coming or going?
the time one spends somewhere is so much sweeter when one has to leave sooner... or later...
anyway, when i left it was a little sunnier. i went to pick up the organic veggies. we had lovely beets, little squiggly pink and purple potatoes, wax beans, pattypan squashes, basil, cucumber, half-ripe tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, a perfect cabbage, and the last few stalks of kale and colored swiss chard.
i'm listening to the offenbach opera that thomas let me dump onto the shuffle. he describes it as being cabaret-like; the music is more sudden and uptempo, none of this fussing and beating around the bush you normally get with opera. it pleases me immensely. looking up the plot on wikipedia, it turns out to be about a man who falls in love with and loses three women in quick succession. he keeps getting tricked, there is someone who is determined that no one else shall have him. ach, but it's beautiful.