and maybe last night i drunk dialled a stranger in an attempt to call my new roommate's mother. maybe i successfully drunk dialled my own mother, drank into a hangover, and hurt the feelings of a dear friend. maybe the night before last i carried someone i've known since i was 13 into a car after he made a wreck of himself in one of my favorite bars then went back inside and kept drinking. maybe i'm still smoking and it's been more than a year since i went to aikido. still there's a rising sense of optimism. at the end of my last day at p.s.1 i'm getting on a plane to go to san francisco for a few days. i'm gonna walk everywhere and see beautiful art and take in new smells. thomas was marking up a map for me with helpful and unhelpful landmarks: "this is where jess used to live. this is where i used to live. stay out of this triangle at night. there are some crazy strip joints down this street." the day after i get back i start my new job in soho. it feels like moving forward. it feels like progress.
happy new year.